Holy Sh*t!!! We're Wrestling!!!
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*The
DWF officially kicked off spring this weekend with the Holy Sh!t show,
and it was a great one. We began with Soilent Green coming out and
discussing his loss to The Pitfighter at pF's Chris Holland Memorial
Show two weeks ago. Soilent promised that he would get his win back,
and added he also wanted the DWF title. As the big Alaskan put it, the
best way to get both of those done was to make sure Pitfighter won the
DWF Title at War's End on April 21st. So, Soilent issued a challenge
to DWF World Champion Reckless to meet him and mystery partner tonight
in a handicap match. Well, as this was stated, Stardust made his way
out and said he was challenging Rich tonight for the title. This
brought out the last DWF champion of record, Tybolt Lemur who said he
hasn't had his mandatory rematch, so he should get the match with
Rich. Soilent then announced who is partner would be, and out came....Rocky
Relentless!!?
Rocky then reminded everyone that he did beat Reckless at New Years
Revolution, so HE should get a shot. Has everyone gone crazy! FINALLY,
the DWF World Champ Rich Reckless came out and said EVERYONE would get
a shot at him, but their original matches would still take place also:
Stardust vs Tybolt Lemur, Soilent Green vs Snake Fight, and Rocky
Relentless vs Twisted/Mr. Sunday. With that all five men left the set
to prepare for a long day.
*Match
One: Soilent Green vs Rich Reckless (non title):
Rich's
first match of the day began and ended rather quickly, as no more then
three minutes into the bout, Stardust and Snake Fight charged the
ring. Stardust and Rich began fighting to the back, as Soilent and
Snake Fight began their Death Match right then and there!
*Match
Two: Death Match, Soilent Green vs Snake Fight:
(Quick note on Death match rules: in order to win, a competitor must score a pinfall on his opponent, then the opponent has a 10 count to get back to his feet.)
With
Soilent's match with Rich ruled a no contest, the Alaskan was even
angrier here, unloading his fury upon Snake Fight. Soilent began by
beating down the "One Man Army" with a series of punches and
a stop sign. Snake Fight came back and they traded chair and
sign shots, keeping the fight even for a good eight minutes. Snake
Fight hit one "Surprise, You're Dead" DDT, but Soilent
kicked out!! Soilent came back and got a pin on Snake Fight with the
Absolute Pastures ( The combination of his two finishers which
basically turns out to be a full nelson face buster). However, Snake
Fight got up at the count of four . Snake Fight then in a shocking
display of violence, gave Soilent Green THREE "Constrictor"
Suplexes and One more Implant DDT, got the win, then stood over
Soilent for the 10 count! A bruised and beat Snake Fight staggered
back to the locker room, and a angry Soilent got up and promised his
losing streak ends there!
*Match
Three: Strap Match, Stardust vs Tybolt Lemur:
These
long time rivals didn't waste any time getting started, as Tybolt
brought the straps down hard across the back of Stardust. Both men
used the strap to choke and whip each other. As Tybolt gained the
advantage, he wrapped a strap around Stardust's neck and gave him a
Super Running Choking Death Bum's Rush, but decided in to go for a
cover. Tybolt his a new move, a flapjack piledriver, but just
continued punishing Stardust by just throwing a hard card table at his
head. Stardust came back, tying Tybolt's hand behind his back and
landing a drop toe hold into a chair and then a guillitine leg drop.
Tybolt then broke free and tied Stardust's arms together, and feet
together. With his head unprotected, Tybolt hit Stardust with the stop
sing and threw the table at his head again. Stardust eventually
grabbed a garden tool, and nailed Tybolt in the head. Once untying his
hands, Stardust hit a "my feet are tied together so this is gonna
be stiff" missile dropkick to Tybolt's head, gave him the Moonage
Daydream, and got the win!
*Match
Three, Rocky Relentless vs Twisted/Mr. Sunday:
Mr.
Sunday promised vengeance in the name of Lord Fairington in this
match, but Rocky came out a house of fire, demolishing both Jesus
Freaks with punches and kicks and weapons. Eventually, and shockingly,
the numbers finally were too much, and Sunday and Twisted went on the
offence. Together, they managed to have the former DWF World Champion
on the ropes, hitting a guillitine legdrop and vicious double
brainbuster!! Rocky came back for a moment, but collapsed in
exhaustion, perhaps feeling a bit rusty after months of inactivity.
The Two Congregation members continued their onslaught with more
surprisingly powerful slams, as Twisted nailed the "Twist and
Shout" for two! Rocky made another come back finally, out of
nowhere slapping on two vicious chokeslams and scoring the pinfall.
*Match
Four, DWF World Title, Tybolt Lemur vs Reckless:
This
one didn't last too long, as Tybolt was still feeling of the effects
of just around 20 minutes ago. Rich slapped on the crossface after
about a minute and got the win.
*Match
Five, DWF World Title, Stardust vs Reckless:
But
Rich had another match just seconds later, and he and Stardust tore
into each other for around 20 minutes! The first five or so found both
men exchanging weak holds, as both were tired by now in the show.
Rich took the offence after Stardust missed a Air Oshkosh leg lariat
into the card table. However, Rich found himself locked in his own
Crossface just minutes later on a side slam attempt! Rich worked his
way out of the crossface, and Stardust went for a crucifix pin, which
Rich rolled out of, which Stardust turned into a Crippler Crossface
AGAIN! Stardust took the advantage as the match pace picked up some
more, giving Rich the two suplex-one brainbuster series, for a two
count! Rich came back with some chops and drove Stardust's head into
the table. Stardust fought back and missed another Air Oshkosh, and
was put into a figure four. Reckless finally released the hold and
both men went back to the "ring". Exhaustion hitting
both men, Rich lost his footing on a "Reckless Effect"
attempt, and Stardust took a huge advantage. Stardust took this chance
and locked Rich in an Oshkosh Bender while Rich's body was through the
back of a chair! Then came the big moves, first he hit Rich with a new
move, variation of a fisherman's buster called the Perfect Driver, and
then Blue Thunder, but both only got two! Rich came back for a moment
and hit a diving headbutt, but missed the second one! Stardust set
Rich up, and after one attempt hit Rich with a picture perfect
StarBurst (Air Raid Crush) then did his own Swan dive headbutt, which
may have dazed him too much, as when Stardust went for the Moonage
Daydream, Rich slapped on the crossface, then locked in on through the
chair for the tap out! Rich survives once again with the Title!
*Match
Six, DWF World Title: Reckless vs Rocky Relentless:
With Rich obviously tired, Rocky seemed to have in mind to beat Rich in a wrestling match then his usual brawl. This perhaps caught the DWF champion off guard as the match remained pretty even for a while with both men trading arm bars, leg bars, full nelsons, and other holds. Every now and then Rocky took control by easily throwing Rich down to the ground, hitting a huge suplex, and release fisherman's suplex, and a powerslam. But the World Champ fought back against the returning Rocky, whose stamina was in question here, Rich fought of a double chicken wing slam into the table by throwing Rocky into it then suplexing him into a pile of twigs and throws!!! With his back cut up, Rich brought Rocky back to the ring and took over with slams and belly to back suplex! As the match continued one, Rocky made another come back and hit a giant powerbomb on Rich, then seemed ready to give him the chokeslam, when out of nowhere came Angel De Morality!! WTF?! It's the last match, what's Angel doing out there!?? Angel ran out with a belt and hit Rocky upside the head, allowing a dazed Rich to slap on the crossface for the win. Soilent Green then came out, and nearly broke Angel's nose with a stiff forearm shot and took the belt from him. Rocky, just getting up, saw Soilent with the belt and the two stared at each other. Soilent caught the drift of what Rocky was thinking, trying to assure him that he wasn't the one who attacked Rocky. Rocky, however, gave a look like he didn't care and went back to Rich. Rocky and Rich shook hands as the show came to close with Rich Reckless cemented as a true DWF World Heavyweight Champion!